September 27, 2007

the longest red light ever

So I was riding along the Minnehaha Creek bike path last night and as I stopped for a red light, this dude, who had been riding my ass for the past few blocks, rolls up behind me and starts talking to me:

Dude: wow, that's pretty nice...
Me (realizing he's checking out my bike, not me): yeah, I like it.
Dude: you must have a rich boyfriend....
Me (giving him the WTF look): huh?
Dude: have a nice bike like that.
Me (giving him the I-want-to-punch-you-in-the-face look): actually, I bought this one myself.

He then went on to tell me how he wanted to get some "rims" like mine, and then asked me how many miles I've ridden this year. Luckily, I have no clue how many miles I've ridden, and I knew he didn't care anyway...guys like that only ask that question so you ask them how many miles they've ridden so that they're given the opportunity to one-up you. As expected, when the light turned green, he took off like a bat-outta-hell to show me how fast he was. His yellow neon jacket was a blur....I was so impressed.


StevenCX said...

Dude probably wonders why he never gets laid...

Super Rookie said...

i guess next time you will run the light!

i would.

creapy dudes suck.

Anonymous said...

Did he have tube socks on? That is the best...and then they burn rubber and you can hear them breathing up ahead of you as you let them "go away."

suthsc said...

There's only really two ways to approach these kind of things: kill them with kindness - Minnesota style, and getting your pro-weirdness on. To try the first technique, you could say something like.. "He buys me everything I want except distance from people like you. *smile*"

Note: this might be too subtle for some the recognise as an invitation to not continue the conversation.

As for the second style, might I suggest.. "I really wanted to talk to you about accepting Jesus/Vishnu/Buddha as your personal savior." or "Hey, can you loan me ten bucks for bus fare?"

If neither of these techniques cause bananna jacket wearing weirdos to freak and run, you can always resort to the "tall man."

Note: results may vary..

Strats said...

tall man?